How to write wedding vows: a simple structure and examples
How to write personal wedding vows: a four-part structure, how long they should be, examples in three tones, and a builder that drafts yours from a few prompts.
Write personal wedding vows in four parts: something you noticed about your partner, what you love about them, two or three promises, and a closing line that says you choose them. Aim for 30 seconds to a minute, about 75 to 150 words. Use the builder below for a first draft, then rewrite it in your own words.
Build your vows from a simple structure
Choose a tone and length, answer the prompts, and get a first draft to rewrite in your own words.
How to write your vows
- Agree the basics with your partner: the length and the tone, so one of you does not read a page while the other reads a line.
- Write down memories: how you met, when you knew, what you love.
- Pick one specific detail to open with. Specific beats general.
- Write two or three promises, one serious and one light if that suits you.
- End with a line that says you choose them, today and every day.
- Read them aloud and time them. Cut anything that does not sound like you.
- Check with your officiant, as some ceremonies require certain words.
How long should vows be?
Thirty seconds to a minute each, about 75 to 150 words. Longer vows are lovely to read later but hard to say with emotion and an audience.
Three examples
Heartfelt: "From the start I noticed the way you listen. What I love most is your patience. Today I promise to make you laugh when it matters most, and to keep choosing you, every day."
With a smile: "I promise to make you laugh, and, most importantly, to always save you the last dumpling. I am all yours."
Traditional: "I take you to be my partner, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for as long as we both shall live."
Do you need to memorise them?
No. Write them on a card or in a small book. Phones are best left in a pocket.
For the toasts later in the day, see how to write a wedding speech, and plan the order of the day with the wedding day timeline.
Questions
How do you write wedding vows?
Open with something you noticed, say what you love, make two or three promises, and end by saying you choose them.
How long should wedding vows be?
About 30 seconds to a minute, or 75 to 150 words.
Should we read each other's vows first?
Many couples keep them a surprise but agree the length and tone. Some share them with the officiant only.
Can I use traditional vows?
Yes. Many couples say traditional vows, or add a personal line to them. Check with your officiant what is required.