Wedding RSVP deadline: how to choose the reply-by date
Choose a wedding RSVP deadline that works for your caterer and your guests, with the dates to send invitations, chase replies and confirm the headcount.
Set your wedding RSVP deadline three to four weeks before the wedding, or five to eight weeks before for a destination wedding, and make sure it is at least a week before your caterer needs the final headcount. Enter your wedding date below to get the reply-by date and the dates around it.
Your reply-by date and the dates around it
Enter your wedding date to get a reply-by date, and the dates to send invitations and give your caterer a headcount.
How to choose the reply-by date
- Find your caterer's deadline. Read the contract for the date the final headcount is due. Some want it earlier than two weeks before.
- Add a buffer. You will need a week to chase late replies, so set the reply-by date at least a week before that deadline.
- Check your own tasks. The seating plan, place cards and favours all need the final number.
- Adjust for travel. Guests who need to book flights need more notice, so ask for replies earlier for a destination wedding.
- Write the date on the invitation and the website, and say it in words, such as "Kindly reply by May 15".
Why three to four weeks?
It gives guests time to check their calendars, and it gives you time to chase, finalise numbers and plan seating. A date too far out means guests forget. A date too close leaves you no time to adjust.
What do you do about late replies?
Send a polite nudge to everyone who has not answered a few days after the deadline. A short text works well: "We are finalising numbers, can you let us know by Friday?" Decide in advance what you will do if someone still does not reply. Most couples treat silence as a no, but check with your caterer if you want to leave a small margin.
How do you word the reply line?
Kindly reply by May 15
Please reply by May 15 at priyaanddev.com
Reply by May 15 so we can count the chairs
Choose the one that matches your tone. See the wording guide for the other lines on the card and when to send wedding invitations for the full timeline. The invitation timeline tool does the same sums and gives you a calendar file.
Questions
What is the reply-by date for a wedding invitation?
Three to four weeks before the wedding for most weddings, and five to eight weeks before for a destination wedding.
When do I need to give my caterer the final headcount?
It depends on your contract. Many ask for it about two weeks before, but some want it earlier. Check your contract and set your reply-by date at least a week before.
What if guests do not reply?
Chase them kindly a few days after the deadline by text or phone. Treat continued silence as a no, unless you agree a small margin with your caterer.
Should the reply date be on the invitation or the website?
Both. Guests look at the card first and then go to the website to reply.
Can I extend the reply-by date?
Yes, if your caterer allows it, but tell guests the new date clearly. Do not extend it past the date you need for the headcount.